do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
