thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
