3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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