did you get engaged???
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
