I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's the barista slut.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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