All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
