Who did Billy Mays play for?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
