Sry I called you an 8
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
