As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
