its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the sex got boring after the first three hours