I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
