Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
