East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
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I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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