we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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