they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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