sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
