You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
