having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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