i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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