I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
