I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
