I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
