Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
