u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
