we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just gift wrapped bread.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
