I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
