3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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