i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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