also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Come on in and take your pants off
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