I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
