The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize