After last night, I could never be a politician.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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