Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
