he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
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you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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