Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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