Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Let's get the cat blown out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
