If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
there is glitter all over my balls
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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