I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
