Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
