So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
