This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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