He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
