She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
bring money and cleavage
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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