I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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