So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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