: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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