I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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