and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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