shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
