My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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