ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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