He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I have demons in me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
