tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We're too hungover to prance.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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