She's JV to your varsity
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
