I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Randomize