would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
