Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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